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A Little, Non-Serious List of 10 Cookout Do’s and Don’t’s

May 3, 2018

Cookouts are great, aren’t they?

Friends and family you haven’t seen in ages gather from all corners of one state  to enjoy grilled hot dogs, burgers and basically to eat free food and enjoy the company of people they don’t know.

It isn’t until about 30 minutes in when someone starts complaining to a  group of friends how dry the chicken is you began to wonder if going through all the trouble was really worth it.

The look of regret flushes through your body like being stuck hostage in a bad date, and you’re almost to your whit’s end.

You’re annoyed too, aren’t you?

You can take the criticism, you just can’t take the  downright disrespect of publicizing the disdain for food you spent hours putting together.

There’s just some things at cookouts you should just know NOT to do and this is one of them.

But there are some others too, below read the Do’s and Don’t’s of Cookouts especially if you’re a guest:



Make a Spectacle if the Food is Disgusting



If the chicken is dry, let the chicken be dry in private; just don’t put another piece on your plate! And mind your business if someone decides to eat it anyway.

If you make a spectacle, chances are you’ll be blacklisted from next year’s cookout: family or not.

Share your opinions through quiet whispers or on in the privacy of your car on the ride home.




Let the Kids Eat First


Was cutting in front of your friend’s 4-year old cousin really necessary?

Everyone knows the kids are only getting hot dogs, hamburgers, and baked beans, so your quarterback aggression is unnecessary.



Eat Excessively like No One Else Has to Eat



This is more true for a guest as opposed to a family member.

You’re not at home, the least you can do is wait until the party has died down and the hosts start cleaning up before sniffing around the kitchen to fill up your plate for the third time.



Fold a Full Plate of Food in Half

Okay, everyone knows the potato salad is staler than a bag of chips left open for a week.

The chicken is drier than a conversation between two people with nothing in common.

Just trash it; fold your plate in half and don’t let it open back up.



Mess over Your Food. 

That’s childish.

Not only are you showing a complete disregard for the hours spent preparing the food and the money spent, but you’re also abusing your access to the premium meats and seafood kids don’t have access to.

Congratulations, you’ve earned a seat at the kid’s table.



Show Face At Least 1-Hr After the Cookout Starts


You show up on time, I might still be in the shower, the food is still being prepped and the chairs aren’t even set up.

What are you doing?

Being punctual is not becoming in this scenario. The actual time a cookout starts is just when the closing the prep works begins to end. And here you are expecting to come through early and eat to your heart’s content.



Touch Anything with Your Bare Hands!

I don’t care if just came from the bathroom, you dapped up 5 of your friends on the way to the food line.

Did they just come from the bathroom too?

Who knows where their hands have been.

There’s a utensil for every food except the chips. But how do you as a human being, see everyone else pouring chips and you put your entire hand in the bag. How?


Clean up After Yourself



You didn’t bring any forks, napkins or desserts at the very least you can clean up the brown sugar baked beans you spilled on the table before you start chatting with everyone.



Expect Anyone to Take Food Home If It Was Nasty (Host)

You see 20 folded plates in the trash and 30 guests came then it’s a no.

If you see all of the mac and cheese, beans, pasta salad are cleaned out, but the potato salad, ribs and chicken look untouched like the artifacts in a museum, guess what?

You are stuck with a full fridge of potato salad, ribs, and chicken.

If guests are offering to take extra forks and spoons home then obviously something isn’t quite adding up and your food wasn’t hitting the way it should have.



Rsvp & Ask to Bring Anymore Than a  +1


How do you get invited to a cookout and just casually invite 5 of your closest friends?

I get it.

No one wants to show up at a cookout and only know the host, you sort of become a flower on the wall in a midst of strangers.

But at least ask, there may not be food for an additional five people or two.



 What are some of you’re cookout peeves? Sound off in the comments below!



Asiah G.

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